Fact checked by Did you fall in love with work from home (WFH), but are now being faced with a return to office (RTO) mandate?
Let me introduce you to coffee badging, the art of showing up to your office building just long enough to grab a coffee, swipe your badge, and then get out — giving the illusion that you’re at the office when in reality, you’re working from anywhere but there.
What Is Coffee Badging?
Okay, but what even is coffee badging?
Imagine this: you show up in-office just long enough to grab a coffee, swipe your badge, and then head out—leaving the illusion that you’ve been at your desk for a full day when in reality, you’re anywhere but.
This is coffee badging, and it’s all about making brief appearances to satisfy workplace requirements like an RTO mandate while continuing to work remotely.
To my mind, this is more than just a trend for remote or hybrid workers, it's a response to the growing pressure that remote workers are facing for spending their time onsite to satisfy in-office requirements.
Sure, on the surface, this sounds fine, but for some of us, we've never seen stronger results or felt more productive than we do when we work from home or in a space that fits our needs.
After all, the idea is not to avoid working, but to keep working from home or wherever you feel most productive, without having to return to the office full time, and of course, without losing your job!
To me, coffee badging is more than just a cheeky workaround; it’s a way to maintain the work-life balance many of us have come to value by spending time in the best work environment for us.
But like any clever hack, it requires finesse, strategy, and a bit of luck.
3 Ways to Hack Return to Office with Coffee Badging
Here are three tried-and-tested methods to make coffee badging work for you when facing a return to office mandate in 2024.
1. Social Engineering: Leverage a Friendly Co-Worker
How It Works: Find a co-worker who is a regular at the office and doesn’t mind a little covert operation. With their help, you can have them do your badge swipes for you while you enjoy the comforts of remote work.
Why It Works: This approach maintains the illusion of your presence in the office without actually being there. It’s crucial, however, to choose a trusted colleague who understands the importance of discretion and collaboration.
Pro Tip: Offer a little incentive like buying them lunch now and then as a thank you for their assistance. A bit of goodwill goes a long way in ensuring they don’t mind being your ‘badge buddy.’
2. Staggered Check-In and Check-Out Times
How It Works: This tactic involves making brief appearances at the beginning and end of the workday. You show up in the morning to swipe in, leave to work elsewhere (like a nearby café or coworking space), and then return at the end of the day to swipe out.
Why It Works: It gives the impression of office attendance and that you’ve been at the office all day. This strategy can be particularly effective if your workplace doesn’t monitor in-between activities too closely.
Pro Tip: Choose a nearby spot with reliable Wi-Fi so you can still be productive without actually being in the office. A local coffee shop or a quiet park bench can be your new “office” for the day.
3. Schedule a “Ghost Day” with Strategic Meeting Placement
How It Works: Designate one day a week where you’re fully present in the office, packing all your in-person meetings and visible work tasks into that day. This gives you that much-needed face-time to fulfil a return-to-office mandate.
For the rest of the week, rely on pre-scheduled emails and timely chat messages to maintain your presence virtually.
Why It Works: Coworkers remember your participation in meetings more than they notice your physical presence. By appearing engaged and active on your ghost day, you reinforce the idea that you’re always around, even if you’re not physically there.
Pro Tip: Use scheduling tools to send emails at different times throughout the day, creating the illusion that you’re constantly on the move — even when you’re miles away.
3 Things That Could Get You Fired with Coffee Badging
While coffee badging can be an effective strategy, it’s not without its risks. The biggest of which is losing your job. And of course, I don't want that to happen to any of you.
We want to remain hybrid employees, even if we're doing it covertly.
So, here are three potential pitfalls that could land you in hot water and how to avoid them.
1. IP Address Red Flags
The Risk: If you’re accessing company systems remotely while your badge is logged in at the office, your employer might notice a discrepancy in IP addresses. This is a significant red flag that can trigger security alerts.
How to Avoid It: Use a VPN to route your home IP through the office network, making it appear as if you’re accessing everything from within the building to maintain compliance.
Pro Tip: Coordinate with your ‘badge buddy’ to avoid any suspicious overlap. For example, don’t log into the system while they’re swiping in for you.
2. Security Cameras and Checkpoints
The Risk: Some offices are equipped with security cameras at entrances and common areas. If your badge logs you in but the cameras don’t show your face, this could raise questions. This type of employer surveillance is not uncommon.
How to Avoid It: Make sure you’re seen at least once a day. Walk through visible areas on your way to your ‘exit,’ even if you’re not planning on staying long.
Pro Tip: Wave at the receptionist or security staff occasionally. Building a believable presence is key to pulling off this strategy for you and your remote colleagues.
3. Unexpected In-Person Requirements
The Risk: If there’s an unexpected meeting or event and you’re working remotely without a legitimate excuse, it can look suspicious and make you a target for scrutiny.
How to Avoid It: Stay tuned to the office schedule, monitor slack messages, and have a few convincing excuses ready for sudden absences. Keeping an eye on internal communications can help you anticipate when you might need to be physically present.
Pro Tip: If caught off guard, a quick “I’m on a client call outside the office” can be a wise way to buy you some time to figure out your next move. And of course, be ready to jump onto zoom calls as a backup.
Wrapping Up: Play It Smart and Stay Flexible
Coffee badging is all about finding the perfect balance between maintaining your autonomy and meeting in-office mandates.
However, it’s a delicate game of cat and mouse. Play it smart, stay flexible, and know when to call it quits.
Remember, the ultimate goal is to maintain your job without sacrificing the work-life balance that remote work offers. And hey, if you get caught, at least you’ll have an epic story to tell—just maybe not to your next employer!
Do you have any coffee badging tips or stories of your own? Let me know in the comments below.
